For All of You Single Girls Out There...

I admit, lately I’ve been thinking about that special guy that God has for me, and honestly – I miss him. Be honest girls, how many of you are home on a Friday night doing nothing while all of your friends are out on a date with their boyfriends? Or maybe your best friend has been hanging out with a guy and you feel neglected – feeling the pain? We all know the feeling.
I’ve set my standards, and I’ve set them high. I know what I want in a guy. I haven’t dated. I’ve made up my mind before that I would not date until:

1. Senior Year (at earliest)
2. I knew the guy who fit my list.

Well, here I am at senior year – boyfriend? No. And that’s cool. I’ve found my season of singleness to be my time for growing and my time for going deeper in my relationship with God. I wouldn’t trade this season for anything God is so good!
However, recently, I find myself thinking more and more about “him.” Who is he? When will God bring him in? How? Will I know right away? I have all of these questions, and yet no answers to be found. The only thing I know is that, 1) God has this all in His hands, and 2) I desire this companionship greatly.

I want someone to love, and to love me, but more-so, I want that person to be who God has for me. You won’t see me rushing in on the dating scene. In fact, I’m a bit more into courtship. And, I find that I really am impressed by the guys who first asked the father’s permission to take out his daughter, before they even ask the girl. It shows maturity and respect.

I can picture my own daughter someday, and I can tell you I would not be thrilled or very pleased at all if some guy just came to our door and picked her up to take her out, without first coming to me or my husband. No. I don’t believe I’d be please, and I don’t believe my daughter would be going out with him that night… (and possibly any night. We’ll see.)

I believe there is a special bond between Dad’s and daughters. I look up to my dad, and I admire him greatly. He’s always been my hero. I rarely find something I enjoy more than a night with my dad. I love being with him. Just me and him – even just driving to the store, or watching the game – I can never get enough of the one-on-one daddy-daughter time. The more I’m with him, the more I see in him that I would want in a husband someday. Some of these big things in my dad are commitment, strength and purpose. His commitment to this family is so apparent. Fathering 5 kids, (3 of them being teenagers, YIKES!) he works hard and long hours every day to support his family. And afterwards, you will find him working on things that need done around the house. He doesn’t work for the fun of it. He doesn’t work just for the money. He doesn’t work to give himself a good name. But he does it for us – to support his family. He does it to the best of his ability, and I admire that quality in my dad – his commitment. Strength and purpose fit into that also. My dad is a family man – strength I see is how he handles his household. He is firm and loving and always makes a point when things aren’t running the way they should be. He heads our household well. His purpose – I see in his stance. Whether he’s in his suit going to work, or in his old worn jeans and t-shirt working outside or fixing cars or doing yard work. My dad is a man of purpose, and his purpose is that of one he knows full well of – the position God has placed him in as the head of this family.

I didn’t just dream this entire up. I had to be taught to see it. But I cannot recall a time ever where my dad wasn’t there for me. Dads are special. And I believe that the Father-daughter relationship is too. There is just a bond there, seemingly from the beginning – my dad’s the reason I’ve gone through most of my teen years without “needing” a guy. I didn’t “need” a boyfriend like some of my friends and many teens my age did. I’d much rather have a day with my dad. As I’ve grown older though, that’s not changed, but I’m starting more to want to find the one that God has for me. I love the relationship I have with my dad, and I don’t ever want it to change – he fills a place in my heart where only a guy could, where only he could. But he’s taught me what I want. I want a man like him.

In a way, I see my mother has taught me that too. She’s taught me to look deeply, see the invisible, and feel the gentlest touches. She taught me to see the world, and she obviously taught me to find a good man (Daddy is exhibit A! ) My mom has also taught me what kind of woman I want to be. She’s raised me right. (Or I think my parents have done a pretty good job, anyway. I mean between the two of them – I turned out pretty awesome, if I do say so myself! – Quite humble too! :P) My mom showed me the kind of woman I want to be. I want to be like she is – a woman of strength and virtue, whose priorities are in line; A woman who watches over her house, and brings up her children in the Lord; A woman who is wise and carries herself with dignity; A woman who is led by the Lord, and who teaches her children to rely on Him.

My mother taught me to work, cook, clean, read, write and all the typical stuff, but by example, she’s taught me the qualities of a godly woman, wife and mother, and I’m proud to be her daughter.

Now girls, stick with me. I’m not as off topic as you might think – remember that longing feeling I was talking about before? The want I have for that companionship and love? My journey with God these last few months- he’s brought me to a place of wholeness – but even so, I still don’t’ feel complete. It’s like I’m missing something – I’m missing him. There is such a mystery about that – only the Lord knows. I was talking with a friend about that, and she mentioned to me how in Genesis, “Adam – even after all the animals, no suitable companion was found. Then God created Eve.” She told me we were born this way – with a longing to have that companion. I chewed on this for a moment, and then it struck me!

Eve was made from a rib of Adam. (Genesis 2:22) There is not something missing in me – I AM the missing piece!

“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.” Genesis 2:24 NIV

Girls – we are the missing piece. When God made Eve – He made her from a piece of Adam. They were one. The same will before us. God has that special guy out there for you, and someday you will be one. I’m waiting on God, and in the end, I know I’ll be amazingly happy with this choice-because if we’re the missing piece to these guys, girls we don’t want to break ourselves out in the dating scene. Dating just to date, or having a boyfriend just to have a boyfriend or to try to fill that space inside of you or to take away the loneliness you feel for love. Wait on God, because he knows that guy who is missing you. He created them just for you. You’re His missing piece. Preserve yourselves girls. I know it’s hard, especially at this age to be waiting and not going out or getting into these kind of relationships, but you will be so happy later and see how it was so worth the wait.

When I’ve been praying about this wanting in me, I just keep hearing God telling me, “wait.”

Girls, the time will come. The wait will be worth it – but for now, embrace this season of singleness. Let God be your heart’s desire. Get into His word, grow in Him. Listen for His voice and let Him teach you.
Also, your relationship with your parents is important. (God id after all entrust you into their care to raise you up in him) God doesn’t make mistakes. Bloom where you’re planted. You need God’s light to grow, you need times of rain. Sometimes He’ll shade you with his wing. You are where you are for a reason. Make the most of it. Be who you are. Give everything your all. Follow God, learn from your parents, and keep yourself pure. Waiting will be worth it. I guarantee you it will be.

Thinking now, I can’t wait for whoever God has for me to come into the picture, but I will wait patiently, pursue God, and continue to learn. If I’m this guy’s missing piece, I want to be whole myself, and that means surrendering everything in me – even this desire to God. I’ve learned surrendering is a process – not a moment. It’s a daily choice – a daily act.

So, for all of you single girls out there, thanks for reading, and I hope you got something from this. You’re the missing piece. I’m sure you’re going to want the rest of the puzzle to be put together when he comes along, so I encourage you to keep yourself together. Embrace your singleness as an opportunity to work on your relationship with God. Let Him be your everything. Give Him your heart. I know He won’t give it to someone who will break it. He knows who He has for you, trust Him Give your all to Him. You’re the missing piece – but He knows to which puzzle. Just wait until you see the whole picture. That guy that you have your eye on, (come on girls, you can’t say “what guy” you know we all have them,) give him to God. I’ve found the more you focus on God, the more you see from His view.

Giving that up is hard I know. Just keep praying. I pray for my future husband every day. I pray that God will keep him pure and that he will be strong in the Lord and that he’ll be safe where he is. I pray that anything that he may be going through, that God would meet him where he’s at and be there with him. I’ve found in praying for other people, it brings you closer together. In praying for my future husband, even though I may not know him, I believe that God will work something in that.
And you know when a guy comes along, pray about him, and trust your parents’ judgment. Talk to them about it. Don’t toss your other relationships aside just because a new season is in view. You ultimately want God to be your # 1 Priority. As for your parents, they are important too –having a good relationship with them will be of help for you. They’ve been through this before - it’s not so different now as you think. Take some wisdom from them. They know what they are talking about them. If you’re open to receive, you’ll be surprised what you can learn.

So girls, pray and seek God. Work on your relationships with your parents. God put them over you for a reason – learn from them. Keep waiting – God knows exactly what He’s doing. Take this time to grow in Him, and to hang out with your friends. Enjoy this season of life as you wait for the next to come. Something worth it, is something worth waiting for, right? You’re the missing piece to the puzzle. God knows the puzzle, give him all the pieces so He can make it complete.
Love you all so much! Thanks for reading.

Brittany L. Ketter ( 1 peter 3:4)